Scotch College

BILGE - a tall tale from our colonial past

"Sweep oh, sweep oh, pay a penny for the sweep..... and concluded with a lively rendition of the none so fine and none so cheap...sweep oh"!

The cries of the London chimney sweep Ned Soot and his friends echoed around the Junior School Assembly Hall on 24 and 25 March, when over 500 members of the Scotch Family came to experience BILGE.

This Australian comedy, written by Doug MacLeod, commenced on the sooty London streets of the 1830s, transported us on a convict ship to Tasmania, and concluded with a lively rendition of the Highland Fling.

The cast was magnificently led by the evil Douglas Doomface (Mitchell Wong), who was a master of many disguises. He was marvellously supported by Below: Franklin Turtle Ned Soot (Michael Kotaridis) and his girlfriend, Naughtical Nora (Edward Cliff), who were transported to Australia for committing the hideously serious crime of stealing a cake!

However, his crime paled in comparison with the awful jokes told by deranged housekeeper, lora McBatty (James McIlraith), who joined the convicts on the good ship Rhubarb Tart. As Ned exclaimed to Flora, "You were lucky you didn't hang!"

Captain (and chef) of the Rhubarb Tart, Captain Dumpling (Lachlan Webster), shared his personal seasickness dilemma with us all, but there was no such sympathy for the three police constables, C Clobber (Harry Bordonaro), PC Peeler (Alistair Trapnell) and PC Wrecker (Michael Kay). They spent little time enforcing the law but did manage to sing the police motto, ad bullants put in their pants and danced ballet.

It was the reappearance of the show's wealthy patriarch, Mr MacMoney (Callum McDonough), that brought the story to a close, but not before the evil Douglas Doomface was publicly humiliated as punishment for all his misdemeanours.

The talented chorus played the roles of chimney sweeps, market sellers, jury members and convicts.

They were the backbone of the production and moved on and off the stage very smoothly.

This Junior School Drama Production was rehearsed on Wednesday afternoons for the first seven weeks of Term 1. The main characters learned their lines diligently over the summer holidays, returning to School with confidence and enthusiasm in the new year.

Fifty boys made up the cast of BILGE, each with an individual speaking role. Other boys were responsible for the lighting. Many parents, grandparents and friends worked tirelessly with staff to ensure costumes, scenery and props were ready on time and of a high standard.

Thank you to all who supported this production in so many different ways.

Jane Beams
Director, BILGE